mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Congratulations! We have a period
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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