i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
