Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
