sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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