South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
