the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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