god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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