well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.