Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...