it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
