I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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