Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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