well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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