My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize