This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize