I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
