I am in a vortex of obligation.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
no you cant smoke seaweed
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
