No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize