On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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