I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
