Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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