Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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