she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
