I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize