Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
