it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Houston, we have a squirter
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
