so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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