Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
