We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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