I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
