literally had 100 drinks last night.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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