the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize