I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize