Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
