Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
