go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
