the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
