i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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