YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
