and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
