The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
