Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
