you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
