yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
