I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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