Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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