i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
