This is not my ceiling
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
