im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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