hotel room ftw
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
