so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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