when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im holly from the hills drunk
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
