walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
