Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Randomize
