so explain again why im purple
no
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
