Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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