i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
