Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
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Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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