his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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