I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize