i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
