just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
