THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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