So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The Olympian is in my bed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
