Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
