shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
